


let them all in on the lie

by ackermanx



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, POV Second Person, lapslock, neurodivergent character, vague mentions of summer troupe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:34:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25797493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackermanx/pseuds/ackermanx
Summary: even the homecoming queen cries.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	let them all in on the lie

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i haven't read all of yuki's backstage stories/events/etc., only sardines + maybe like 7 cards' worth of stories, so uhh i'm not actually sure if what i try to address gets mentioned in further detail at any point i just had Specific Song brainworms and went with it
> 
> uhh hi! it's late at night/early in the morning for me and there truly is nothing like posting ventfic at those hours. that being said, please do mind the anxiety tag and take care of yourself.
> 
> (the song in question is "homecoming queen?" by kelsea ballerini)

when you look like you have your life together, no one really questions it.

it's fine. after all, it's true.

mostly.

isn't it?

you've run a successful business before - you're still running it now, even. you're the sole costume designer of the MANKAI company. you do well in school, even if you're not at the very top.

this is what everyone sees, decorated with a take-no-prisoners attitude that can go toe-to-toe with the worst of them. because it's what you are, and you're not one to lie to people.

so, you keep going. because you have your life together, and because of that, you should be able to do anything. you should be able to step up to be a leader, to continue doing what you love, to do both at the same time if you want to. everything should work out the way you want it to, but.

you can't. multitasking leaves you with two half-baked products that you hate, because you know you can do more, do better.

but you  _ can't. _

and the fear creeps in, that you've been lying to everyone (and yourself) all along. doing the one thing you promised that you would never do. pretending that you can be both an actor and a designer - ridiculous, isn't it?

oh, you've always been good at making clothes, you know that without a doubt. but even if you can't live and breathe acting the same way you do with fashion, you want it. you want it so badly it hurts. no, your life is not together, even if you've almost convinced yourself so. because if it was, would you be driven to near madness by this one simple dilemma? if it was, would you be pushing yourself harder and harder, even as you pull farther and farther away from your friends?

at the end of the day, you're just a kid. you're fourteen years old with hopes and dreams and you're scared that the second home that you've found, the real friends who seem to finally care for you the way that you are, will drop you once you prove to be useless to them.

the mask you weren't even aware that you were wearing splinters, falls. there's no use in putting up a brave front when you're dangling by your fingertips off the edge of a cliff.

_ "...Help me." _  
  


(a hand comes into view. then two. then three. then four . you hold on for dear life. they pull you to safety.)

((...they've been there all along, haven't they?))

**Author's Note:**

> .............come find me on twitter @augustenian if you want!


End file.
